Everyone loves college. You live in a building full of your friends and the opposite sex sans parents for months, with a veritable smorgasbord of food, parties and alcohol to distract you from worthless schoolwork. But the sacrifice is that you’re broke. Still, you have to get drunk. What do you buy? Here’s a list of beers that encourage you to do your homework so you can afford the good stuff after graduation. But for now, you drink these purely out of circumstance.
12.) Natural Light
ABV %:
4.2
Carbs:
3.2 g
Calories:
95
The dirt:
This swill is astonishingly tasteless at first, but somehow it manages to leave your mouth feeling like you just cleaned off a hobo with your tongue. At $12.99 for a 30-pack, you’re getting buzzed for virtually no cost.
11.) Natural Ice
ABV%:
5.9
Carbs:
8.9g
Calories:
157
The dirt:
It's difficult to drink Natural Light without also consuming his "Drunkle" Natural Ice. It packs even more alcohol per can, you're skimping on price and making up for its wretched flavor by getting drunker faster. At around $15 for a 30 rack, you can punish your taste buds and liver, but not your wallet.
10.) Keystone Light
ABV%:
4.2
Carbs:
5.1 g
Calories:
104
The dirt:
Keystone is quite possibly college’s most popular beer. At a rock bottomly low $11.99 for 30 beers, kids everywhere gulp down ‘Stones and save. Don’t be surprised if your hangover feels like you chugged battery acid, Keystone is known to have a damaging effect on one’s body. No big deal, it probably isn't fatal.
9.) Busch Light
ABV%:
4.2
Carbs:
6.7
Calories:
110
The dirt:
This beer is close to having the worst after-taste of any beer on the planet. It’s sort of terrifying actually. But hey, that’s what you get for $10.99 per 24 pack.
8.) Milwaukee's Best
ABV %:
4.5
Carbs:
11.4 g
Calories:
128
The dirt:
The Beast is probably America’s worst tasting item. It honestly tastes like someone put a slice of bread in a can and poured old Miller light over it. After a few weeks of fermenting, you get the Beast. Perhaps the name comes from the severe beer farts/defecation you have to deal with the next morning.
7.) Milwaukee's Best Ice
ABV%:
5.9
Carbs:
7.3
Calories:
144
The dirt:
The popularity of Beast among college students increased when they introduced Milwaukee's Best Ice. The stuff is potent. At nearly 6% alcohol per can, you're looking at a drunk night costing you a mere $13 for 30. But watch out, the swill in these cans will quickly remind you of how poor you are. It isn't good. Maybe try covering up the taste with doritos or paint--why not?
6.) Pabst Blue Ribbon
ABV%:
5.0
Carbs:
12.01
Calories:
153
The dirt:
Pabst Blue Ribbon, henceforth referred to as "PBR," has won numerous awards since its creation in 1844. It was even the beer the military gave to the troops in WWII. Since that time, however, PBR has sort of fallen out of the American beer drinking limelight. Overall, it has a decent taste and at $10.99 for 18, it's semi-pricey. But PBR is a great way to "drink vintage" if that exists, thanks to its rich heritage and classic cans.
5.) Old Milwaukee
ABV%:
4.5
Carbs:
12.9 g
Calories:
146
The dirt:
When you see Old Mil at a party, you know there’s no one around that makes more than $3,000 a year. It tastes awful, but no one’s buying this crap to sit around and discuss Shakespeare. At around $10 for 30, you and your poor buddies can get sloshed and have enough cash left over to hit the McDonald’s Dollar Menu.
4.) Coors Light
ABV%
4.2
Carbs:
5.0
Calories:
102
The dirt:
Possibly the classiest beer on our list, this water-colored beer is a staple in most college freshman mini-fridges in the US. It’s virtually tasteless but still contains alcohol, which has earned this beer the unofficial nickname “training beer.”
3.) Schmidt’s Beer
ABV%
4.6
Carbs:
12.5
Calories:
146
The dirt:
Schmidt's is notable for its wildlife themed cans, and wildlife flavored beer. Be careful, this stuff has a strange flavor, it's like garlic bread and ball sweat mixed with copper shavings.
2.) Stroh's Beer
ABV%
4.6
Carbs:
12.0
Calories:
149
The dirt:
$10 for 24 isn’t a bad deal; all you have to be able to do is choke down this piss-water. When it’s warm, it’s practically un-drinkable. Enough cans of Stroh’s, and you’ll swear off of it forever.
1.) Genesee Cream Ale
ABV%
5.1
Carbs:
15 g
Calories:
162
The dirt:
While not being the worst tasting beer of all time, it’s remarkably flavorful. The aftertaste is a little difficult to deal with, and the next day, you get to enjoy Genny Cream Ale's most beer farts. They'll be surprisingly potent and very similar to the flavor of the beer itself.
WITH THAT SAID START DRINKING GOOD BEER! my 21st is aug 2 so lets drink good beer
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